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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Steps to Help save Your Marriage

Steps to Help save Your Marriage
Many couples feel their marriage is on the brink of failure. Their lives can be flooded with problems which can lead to separation and, finally, divorce. Unfortunately, so many couples are getting divorced it is becoming quite normal and even accepted. Many couples, however, regard divorce as a last resort and are willing to look for methods they can use to save their marriage.
Your first step is to communicate. Be open and honest with each other about the reasons why you feel your marriage, your life together and your future are headed in the wrong direction. Open communication will help focus on the issues which seem to be damaging your marriage. By talking the issues over, you will be able to get them into the open and gain an understanding of where your marriage problems lie. To see the problem in its entirety you must be able to see it from each other’s perspective -- what may seem trivial to you could be a real thorn in your partner's side. Communicating gives your partner an opportunity to see your view of what is going wrong -- both partners can see things from each other’s shoes.
Honest and sincere communication will also bring it to your partner's attention you are truly interested in saving your relationship. Often, a lack of communication can cause a marriage to disintegrate and one partner has no idea why it happened. Both partners must try to communicate not only their thoughts and ideas about the situation but also their heartfelt feelings which may not be so easy. Your partner needs to be given the chance to understand you and how the situation is affecting you before that final decision is made to divorce.
Marriage counseling is another step which can be very beneficial. Having someone who is impartial to the situation listen to the issues can help resolve them. Friends are NOT marriage counselors because they cannot be impartial and will be more likely to help stick the knife into your partner. A good marriage counselor will not take sides but will help you find and use the tools you need to solve your problems in a civilized manner. Don't feel that your relationship must be falling apart before you see a marriage counselor. There is no harm in seeking advice before the minor issues become major ones. Good advice early could lead to a stronger future with the knowledge and tools being applied before things deteriorate.
If you feel you and your partner are making a big mistake in heading for a divorce then it is not too late to try a few simple steps to get your relationship back on track. Don't allow your differences get in the way. If you don't make the attempt and just allow things to fall apart, you may live in regret for a long time. Remember the commitment you and your partner made to each other on your wedding day to spend the rest of your life together. Listen to each other and understand each other’s feelings, make a new commitment to change what is wrong and give your marriage the chance it deserves.
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